Wife listening to Husband talk to himself as he watches 25 minutes of The Bachelor

James:

He fucked her.

James:

Watch this, he's going to fuck her.

James:

I hate The Zipper. I got stuck in it once, upside down. It was awful.

James:

This dentist girl looks like Hermey the dentist elf from Rudolph 'The Red Nose Reindeer'.

James:

Soft piano.

James:

This is such bullshit.

James:

He doesn't know his Dad & she doesn't know her Dad, so they're probably brother and sister.

James:

"Oh my God you have a Dad and I have a Dad"

James:

She's a hand talker.

James:

Do you know what Southern boys do at carnivals?? They fingerbang chicks. That's what's going on there.

James:

There are at least 5 barf machines in that carnival.

James:

Are they filming porn on this show now?

James:

Kelly, if anyone ever says to you "You're psycho!" all you have to say is "No, you're psycho" and that's pretty much the best burn ever.

James:

(Valley Girl) "Oh my God, it's not your birthday is it?"

James:

What's wrong with her tits?

James:

(Valley Girl) "Let's bring it"

James:

That's Rosie O'Donnell, what the fuck is she doing there?? I can't take this.