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11

Jan

Wife listening to Husband talk to himself as he watches 25 minutes of The Bachelor

James:
He fucked her.
James:
Watch this, he's going to fuck her.
James:
I hate The Zipper. I got stuck in it once, upside down. It was awful.
James:
This dentist girl looks like Hermey the dentist elf from Rudolph 'The Red Nose Reindeer'.
James:
Soft piano.
James:
This is such bullshit.
James:
He doesn't know his Dad & she doesn't know her Dad, so they're probably brother and sister.
James:
"Oh my God you have a Dad and I have a Dad"
James:
She's a hand talker.
James:
Do you know what Southern boys do at carnivals?? They fingerbang chicks. That's what's going on there.
James:
There are at least 5 barf machines in that carnival.
James:
Are they filming porn on this show now?
James:
Kelly, if anyone ever says to you "You're psycho!" all you have to say is "No, you're psycho" and that's pretty much the best burn ever.
James:
(Valley Girl) "Oh my God, it's not your birthday is it?"
James:
What's wrong with her tits?
James:
(Valley Girl) "Let's bring it"
James:
That's Rosie O'Donnell, what the fuck is she doing there?? I can't take this.
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